Another move

I’m restarting a blog, but it’s over here now. Hope to see you over there, my faithful and mostly anonymous readers :P

who would have thought

So it turns out I love to cook. Maybe this is just me reacting as always to the people around me and wanting to be different. Currently I’ve been thrown back into a pile of people, most of whom can’t cook to save their lives, or think that cooking is limited to heating up a frozen dinner. And so I cook. Kinda wish I had my own kitchen, but the upside of being in a dorm means that housekeeping cleans said kitchen for me :)

This week I plan to make chicken curry, which I love, is easy to make, and is cheap. Also, I think I might try my hand at mking curry puffs and -wait for it- ondeh ondeh, because I just discovered gula jawa in a local grocery store. Now if only I had fellow Singaporeans to share the joy with out here in the midwest.

Also, I found the white radish stuff that goes into  chye tow kueh, so that is definitely on the menu for sometime this week, especially since I ALSO found bamboo steamers :) to top it off, the store had tahini and chick peas, AND i had lemons to use up, so that made a quick tupperware of hummus :)

Can you tell I’m in a good mood? Already in the last week I made a monstrous pot of spaghetti and meatballs AND mushroom/spinach/onion pastry thingies so that I wouldn’t have to waste money in the cafeteria for lunch everyday. I swear, cooking and knitting are the only things keeping me from going insane around here :P

The Help Leila Get To Ramallah Tag

Ok y’all… more updates later today hopefully… I’m nearing a few milestones and will have more yammering posted soon about the passage of time and all the hectic nonsense that has recently pervaded my life. In case I don’t get around to the details, just FYI I will be home in Singapore on June 17, so pencil me in somehow :) Also, I want to keep this post up top for a few weeks, so all updates will come in below this one.

So. A very good friend of mine has decided to do something that I recommend to everyone: figure out what she really wants to do, and then find a way to make it happen, even though currently it seems beyond her means. Basically, she needs to get fluent in Arabic, and also wants to visit her family and her roots in Palestine, where she can kill two birds with one stone and take these phenomenal Arabic classes (and be immersed, thus learning faster). She’s wanted to do this summer trip for as long as I’ve known her, but this year she’s finally convinced that it can actually happen.

So. I’m inviting you to help make it happen. You can read more about Leila’s plans HERE, and also contribute via Paypal or by giving (constructive) advice or encouragement. I really want this to come true for her, and I’m a big believer in the power of cyberspace to spread the word (and hopefully accumulate support) in an exponential fashion. Think about it. If 5 people read this and put in $5 a piece, then tell 5 other people who also put in $5 a piece, it would only take 4 cycles to raise 90% of her trip costs, at no significant cost to any of the contributors. Moreover, if anyone puts in more than $5 or tells more than 5 people, obviously the whole thing gets accelerated.

So I’d like to encourage you to come and be a part of this. Do your part to make the world a place where strangers help each other. Feed the philosophy that small contributions from individuals can collectively make bigger things happen. Help one person come closer to believing that she can accomplish things that seem out of her reach — and by extension, convince yourself that you can too. I also encourage you to do this for yourself: find something you really want to do, believe you can do it, and then be willing to let other people help make it happen.

In any case, while I can’t strong arm anyone into donating money, I can do my part to wheedle people into at least spreading the word. So I hereby inaugurate the Help Leila Get To Ramallah Tag where each person tagged has to place a link in their blog to this post or to Leila’s blog, and then tag 5 more people by linking to their blogs. Time is short kiddos… Leila leaves in 2 weeks!

So!

Joel, opf, ac, trekkiemonster, and Nick….. consider yourself tagged :)

(Of course, feel free to join the party even if you haven’t been tagged!)

on deconversion

I have to admit, once in awhile I read Cary Tennis's column at salon.com. Usually it's mild, mostly reasonable, non-provocative, slightly sappy advice, so when I read this I was rather surprised at being overwhelmed. I guess it's all still a little raw, even though I can date my own deconversion to a day in spring more than three years ago. Anyway. I meant to blog about this then, but I never really knew what I wanted to say. In truth, I could go on for hours, but then again I don't know many who really give a fuck about this sort of thing, and the few that do have really probably heard more than their share on the topic from me, so I'll spare everyone the mushy stuff :P

There was one part of Tennis's reply that struck me though, and that i think bears reproducing here:

Note the circular reasoning of one of Buckner's relatives, i.e., "If you accept and practice Christianity and it is false you have essentially lost nothing. If you reject Christianity and it is true, then you have lost everything." This is astounding, is it not? It suggests that our nature is not to love truth and seek it, but to love comfort and to play the odds. Such a utilitarian view strikes at the heart of faith itself, which is powerful because it is real, not because it is utilitarian.

Perhaps I should not make too much of that. But the narrow common ground we secularists have with Christians is in part the assumption that they have found religion in seeking the truth. If they have found religion simply in seeking the best deal, that's a different story — it tends to make one less sanguine about the sanctity and power of that belief.

At any rate, if you discover the truth and it makes you uncomfortable, what are you to do? Ignore the truth in order to stick with what makes you comfortable? No, I do not think that is the admirable choice. I think the admirable choice is to face what makes you uncomfortable.

The unfortunate thing is that the 'Christian' argument cited there is all too commonly used. I've ranted about similar things in days of yore (from an eastern shore –well that's the closest one at least– but oh well, and if you don't get the reference well you clearly picked the wrong school to attend :P) so I won't do it again, except to say that I like Tennis's articulation of what I think is unfortunately a big part of the rot and decay in modern Christianity.

breaking the silence

Yes little faithful readers, I'm still alive. Still typing rather slowly, but I've made it to an intermediate level of slowness that is just enough shy of frustrating to render me able to blog again. or at least write the occasional long update.

So. Recent accomplishments and adventures include:

perfecting a very yummy beef stew — at Ansel's request we finally threw a quarter af a head of cabbage into some leftover stew, and amazingly, it made it phenomenally better. This is definitely going to be a staple in years to come and has already wormed its way onto my foods-to-make-friends-with list. Yes indeed, my plan is to feed people into liking me when I get to school in the fall. Hopefully it works before I run out of tasty dishes (the list isn't very long yet).

learning to cable-cast on — it's a knitting thing. Yknow recently I told someone that I would be back later, was gonna go sit on the roof while the sun was still out… and I was informed that that going to watch the sun set was a particularly grandmothery thing to do. I imagine letting on that I like to knit, bake, and cook, and that last year i both lived with cats AND owned a tomato plant probably didn't make me seem any less grandmothery either. I'm not sure if I should be sad that people are so limited in their perceptions or glad that I don't have to have kids with kids in order to enjoy these things :P

reading three books — Something about the biochemical landscape of addictive behaviour, something about our brains being Darwin machines (that is, that neural patterns are selected via replication, competition and survival) and something about the shattering of our concept of individual selves…… all af which had interesting themes but were all far too longwinded.

scaling and eviscerating fish — this really gave me a sense of accomplishment (is that sad?) even though it only happened because I forgot to ask the fish guy to do it for me…. but there I was, with no idea how to clean fish…. and then there I was with very yummy crispy fried fish. :) for the uninitiated, a vegetable peeler works very well for remaving scales, and doing it under running water really helps prevent the scales from going every which way.

making apple pie — now if only I could make myself wait instead of trying to eat it while it's still hot and runny.

making chye tow kueh (dim sum style!) — I need to somehow work this into conversation with my grandmother. :P

going swing dancing — there is nothing quite like breaking out into dance under the stars in the courtyard (where the music is just as loud) after having left the dance hall and having people stare at you like you're crazy :P

finalizing kilimanjaro plans — gotta love the looks on people's faces when they ask about my summer plans :)

biking, biking, biking — yep, it's that time of year…. the trees are back in leaf and the sky is blue … and the river is just gorgeous. Still toxic and filthy, to be sure, but as long as it's reflective enough to look like the sky, and no one pushes me in, I'm not complaining! Ah and btw, people who open their car doors into bike lanes without looking are imbeciles. IMBECILES.

making eclairs — this one definitely counts under adventures and not accomplishments… I think I somehow curdled the custard filling. :(

renting the phillycarshare VW beetle convertible on an impulse — while the convertible is lovely, let's just say that trying to cross town at rush hour in order to get some water ice (sorbet-like stuff for the uninitiated) was not one of my brighter ideas. neither was making a left turn into a parking lot while going west on Kelly Drive. Oh and also, if you plan on driving after dark, it's probably best to check if your car has unusual light settings BEFORE getting on an expressway. ah well! still alive, still alive…

playing the clarinet again (on the roof!)— hopefully by the time i get home this summer I might actually be able to show up to a band practice and not embarass myself TOO badly.

listening to Code Monkey on loop — Nat, I hate you. :P

giving haircuts — how domestic, I know :)

…………………

hm. I lead a rather quiet life, huh.

Dvorak and other updates

hello hello again… and hoping we'll meet again (and three thousand points to whoever figures out what song i'm thinking of there…)

apologies for not writing for so long. yes, i'm still alive.

so! updates are in order. first off, as you can tell by the title i've started to learn dvorak… which also explains the stark lack of capitalization and the brevity of this post.

in other news i've also started listening to Pandora…when i remember to put music on that is. also, am definitely going to wash u this fall. was out there last weekend and surprsingly, had a fantastic time, my antisocial personality notwithstanding. ALSO, i'll be home this summer after i go climb kilimanjaro…

rrgh. ok i'm gonna save the longer update for when i can type faster.

IT IS FINISHED.

found my darning needles! invisible seams rock :) Of course, after painstakingly sewing the damn side seams I decided I was tired of being good and proceeded to cheat like hell with sewing in the 3 billion loose yarn tails. but it’s done! it’s wearable! it fits! (well enough at least ;) and I MADE IT.

(yes, I’m a dork. yes, handknitting a vest just made my day. hush now.)

update

so. I remember wanting to rant and ramble about something or the other but I can’t remember what it was. instead, here’s an update on my life, since I haven’t posted in forever.

None of the other schools I applied to came through. Meaning, I got waitlisted at columbia (damn them, they waitlisted me for undergrad too) and essentially rejected everywhere else. By ‘essentially’ I mean that I got rejected by the MD-PhD folk (or at least so I assume because I didn’t get interviews) and in some cases, was informed over the last two weeks that my file was going to get handed over to the MD-only folk, who, btw, are done interviewing. helpful bastards.

But in any case, I did get into Wash U, which I’m progressively getting more and more excited about. I’m even excited about moving to the MidWest, which tells you how ready I am to move on with my life. Have started to plan for the fall, but am having somewhat more trouble planning for the summer. Trying to climb kilimanjaro at some point, but I also need to get my visa processed over the summer, which can’t be done while I’m travelling (the whole passport confiscation thing gets in the way). Doesn’t help that CERTAIN PEOPLE aren’t responding to my emails about kili either. *COUGH COUGH*

In other news, I will be submitting another abstract to a conference for this fall, which will make my 2nd first-author poster presentation at a national conference… an extremely slow start to my academic career :P The papers I’m working on look like they won’t materialize for some time, hopefully they do eventually materialize at SOME point.

Also, I am this close to finishing that vest I started knitting eons ago. It’s actually all done, I just need to find my darning needles so I can sew the damn seams. and it fits! Kids, I just MADE a garment of clothing. How domestic am I getting. The great thing is that it required a lot less yarn than I expected, meaning that not counting how much of a TIME SINK it was, it only cost me $7.20 in materials. yeehaa. :)

Actually, the most exciting thing about that project was the moment a few nights ago when I realised I was actually watching TV while knitting. Not just glancing at the screen occasionally and following along by listening to the conversations, but actually WATCHING. this means that finally, I can knit blind! Grandmotherhood, here I come. Now I just need to purchase chunkier yarn so that the knitting goes by a little quicker. think I’ll give a cable scarf a go, and maybe a tank to finish off that yarn, and then dammit, I’m buying something heavier and in color and making a sweater.

Am in the middle of another reading phase (yay), working my way through the third of three books (since the beginning of the phase that is). Started with Alone (Richard Byrd), a book that I picked up at a used bookstore because it was about living in Antarctica and had a nice worn hardcover look to it (I’m a sucker for hardcovers that look old, as long as the fonts on the spine are pretty). turned out to be quite the tale. autobiographical of course, about Byrd on a solo expedition to set up a meteorological base south of Little America, how he almost died, and his efforts to keep his crew from finding out lest they try to save them and endanger themselves in the process. It’ll go on my shelf alongside Rowing to Latitude (a couple rowing around in the Arctic) and Lost in Mongolia (crazy guys rafting the Yenisey), the books I read and keep around to remind myself to get out there and DO something every once in awhile.

Anyhow… followed that up with The Fall (Albert Camus), in an effort to continue plugging through the unread books on my shelf. Not at all what I expected, and I’ll pass on the description in order not to spoil the surprise for any of you who might one day pick it up. It’s not at all like his other books (The Plague/The Stranger), and I think it deserves a second read, possibly in the original French (if I ever get my French back up to reading snuff).

Rushed through The Fall a little at the end, in part because I really wanted to know the end (and later realised that really wasn’t the point), and in part because I’d just gotten my hands on book number 3 (have given up on my shelf collection for a bit), Working in a Very Small Place (Mark Shelton). So far it’s been the story of Peter Janetta and his neurosurgical technique of microvascular decompression(lifting blood vessels off nerves) to relieve trigeminal neuralgia (severe facial pain), hemifacial spasm (aka tic doloreux), vertigo, and so on. It’s really quite fascinating, and I’m starting to wonder if I shouldn’t see if I can kick ass on the USMLE boards and point myself towards neurosurgery. I thought when I was applying that I would go the neurology+neuroscience route of pairing clinical neurology with behavioral neuropsych/neuroscience research, trying to understand how the modules of the brain work together, how information is processed, not just computationally but neurologically. I must say though that I would like to be able to actually FIX something, rather than just studying it, which is possibly my number one frustration working here with stroke rehab. This is not to say that neurologists don’t fix things, but their method of attack seems much more like management than it does fixing. Janetta’s technique is still rather new, and no one expected it to be able to cure the things it does…. I wonder if in time we’ll find a similar way to treat stroke and/or aphasia. anyway. I’m rambling. Book’s great though.

Read a couple of other books a while back but I forget them at the moment. I’m going to try to spend a ton of time this summer just reading, since most of y’all back home are working and won’t have time to putz about with li’l ol’ me. Oh, also finally watched Amores Perros. Quite the movie. Definitely worth the hype. Am also slightly upset that Munich didn’t win much at the Oscars.

In other OTHER news…. I’ve started running! well. trying, at least. Not terribly frequently (only when the weekends are warm) but it’s certainly a start. Will have to start biking again soon…

break out the bacon

Sorry, haven’t been blogging much. What can I say, life has been rather uneventful :P

Just wanted to bring this to people’s attention though… an article in the NYTimes that discusses recent research showing that reducing the fat in your diet (from about 35%l to about 20%) does not make you any healthier (at least by their measures). ALSO, it shows that the proportion of fat in your diet does NOT in and of itself affect weight gain or loss. So there, Atkins.

Everything in moderation, of course… but tonight, we’re eatin’ some bacon! (or at least, some other tasty, albeit somewhat fatty, food)

feeling anomic?

so while evading work today I came across this article…. which, interesting as it is in terms of its localization-of-function bent, really caught my eye because of this word:

an·o·mie or an·o·my  
n.

  1. Social instability caused by erosion of standards and values.
  2. Alienation and purposelessness experienced by a person or a class as a result of a lack of standards, values, or ideals: “We must now brace ourselves for disquisitions on peer pressure, adolescent anomie and rage� (Charles Krauthammer).

 

Now… perhaps this word shouldn’t have been new to me, but it was, so deal with it. It also exists in adjectival form, i.e. anomic. Which brings us to another word: anomia, which shares the same adjectival form. Anomia, however, refers to word-finding difficulty, often the result of some type of brain injury. Basically, imagine having that tip-of-the-tongue problem….. ALL the time.

ambiguity just always catches my eye. and makes me think about patterns and parallels. how much of morality/values resides in our language? or is reinforced by our language? If the whorfian style of thinking is true and our language constrains our thoughts/beliefs, then does the loss of language lead to to some loss of morality? I.e. does being anomic (in the a-without, nomen-name way) result in one becoming anomic (in the a-without, nomos-law way)?

Severe anomia can result in the inability to form unambiguous statements… people lose their content words and start saying things like ‘well the man who wore the thing gave the thing to the man who put the thing on the thing.’…. what happens to ethics and reason when you can’t form sentences? I don’t doubt that it’s possible to reason non-verbally, but we’re certainly not trained to do it much, being such a verbal species.

HM. 

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